Tears of Sweetness

Elliot was very upset today that the art mug he brought home from school was broken, due to an altercation with Gus.

Sam tried to cheer him up by giving him a piece of candy but he was still crying, so I said, trying to make him laugh, "WHAT is that delicious sweet smell?!" 

Without skipping a beat, he wailed, "those are my TEARS!"

And one more, so I don't forget:

Last week he was upset that he had to go to school again. He said "I don't WANT to go to school, I've been going for SO LONG!!" He's in kindergarten. 

Shyster.

A few weeks ago, Simon started dropping hints that he would like to stay home from school on the day his new video game was to be released.

Simon: Remember that time when Dad let me stay home from school just to watch him play Assassin's Creed, when it came out?

Me: Yep, that was pretty cool of him.

Simon: Suuuure was.

Me: You're not staying home from school when The Taken King comes out.

Simon: Ugh.

A few days ago:

Simon: I'm so excited for Taken King, I might not be able to sleep the night before.

Me: You'd better sleep, or school the next day is going to be rough. Remind me to give you some melatonin.

Simon: Ugh.

Monday night (game released for download on Tuesday):

Simon: Mom, my ears have been bothering me.

Me: Uh huh.

Simon: No, really - remember that double ear infection I had a few months ago? My ears have been hurting since I went swimming the other day.

Me: Seriously?! Alright, I will make an appointment for you for tomorrow, but I'm here to tell you that if the doctor says your ears are fine, I'm going to beat your ass*.

We went to the doctor, and she said both ears are in need of antibiotics. We left with three prescriptions. Emma had texted me three times before his appointment even started, wanting an update (ie, wanting to hear that he was busted and not actually sick). When he texted her back and told her, she was livid, and couldn't believe he pulled that off. It was seriously a 'Ferris Bueller's Day Off' scene for her. Well, maybe just for me, since I doubt her mind went there - I couldn't stop seeing Jeannie's face on Emma's body.

I also couldn't believe it, and was trying to figure out if there's a way to give yourself an ear infection. Then I realized: he has probably been sitting on this ear infection for several days, and just waited until the night before the game came out to tell me, to ensure he would be out of school for the day.  

That is unscrupulous as hell, but well played, Simon.

*I have never once beat anyone's ass, and certainly never one of my children. It is, however, a phrase I'm particularly fond of using.

Let's Start At The Very Beginning

Here I sit, poised to write something witty and entertaining about my life. The moments I hope to capture in this blog happen multiple times daily, but nothing is happening right now, because it's just me and 5 hairy beasts (the dogs - I will do my best not to refer to my 5 male offspring as 'hairy beasts'). So, instead, I will provide an introduction to my blog.

For the past several years, ever since I gave up on Livejournal, I have been capturing these memories via Facebook.  I reserve the right to unashamedly copy and paste past memories into this blog on slow days. I also plan to post things here that I otherwise wouldn't on Facebook; due to the kids' embarrassment potential or maybe it just isn't quite appropriate, or not the right audience, etc.  I try to maintain high levels of political correctness on Facebook, due to the wide variety of friends and family who cannot get enough photos of my children (am I right!?), but no such luck here, sirs and madams.

Most blogs annoy me. I hate overly wordy, pretentious or even borderline pretentious posts, particularly if all I'm trying to do is see the damn recipe.  Why do I have to hear about how much your child's soccer coach's mother loved the bread you made, along with 39482 photos of the bread from every angle? Just give me the flipping recipe before I lose interest.  So, maybe here's my MO for this blog: a quick LOL at the comedy of errors/cautionary tale my life tends to be with 6 kids, 5 dogs, and a heaping bucketful of the ability to laugh at most situations.  No need for photos of THAT recipe, but you might get them anyway.  Illustrations can be fun!

A final word: the title of my blog.  I was going to go with 'Bantastic' because that's how I like to describe my family and life.  'Fantastic' is defined as "imaginative or fanciful", "so extreme as to challenge belief", "wonderful or superb, remarkable". My life is all these things, and since my last name is Banta, you can put two and two together: it's a play on words! I love plays on words! But 'Bantasticality' seemed much more fitting for this blog title, so there it is.

Until next time!